i’m turning 44 this year. i don’t feel like 44. i’ve got the asian thing going on too so i don’t quite look 44. i am getting older. i’ve been into mothering and being present for my kids for more than the last decade, that i forgot that i was my own person. i love my kids. they’re getting older. they don’t need my immediate attention as much as they used to. my time while they are at school is different now.
i read an article a couple years ago that was about figuring out what you want to do with your life. i could spend it on the pinterest-facebook-instagram time sink, or i can ask myself: WHAT DO I WANT TO DO THAT IS IMPORTANT?
i picked doing things for me. i started working out. at first i felt selfish about it. when i sewed clothes for myself, i called it “selfish sewing.” but i don’t anymore. if i say something is important to me, i will make it happen. i’m working more on my babygr business. i think: if not now, when? if i don’t try, it won’t change. i make it move. no one will move it for me.
i’m taking care of myself so i can better take care of the people around me. my sisters and i used to joke about our mom: if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. my kids see me being happy by my own actions. they see the work i make. they see that i am taking care of myself. i hope they take that to heart for themselves.
life in progress, always.